I've had many emotions circling my brain and wanting to bubble out of me, but I just don't know how to put them on paper lately.
How does one fix this???
I used to be a person that loved the beach. I can remember when I was a kid the excitement of finding out that we were going. I didn't grow up on the beach, but I lived about 45 mins away at all times. My mom has pics of me playing, running and having a great time! When I hit puberty and developed boobs, I started to hate it... and then all of a sudden, I went from an XS to an XL in 6 months!!! I'll never forget the trip to the beach that changed everything! It was the summer I turned 12 and sand got trapped in the crotch of my bathing suit and I looked like I crapped my pants! I had to change out of my suit, under a freakin blanket when it was 95 out and I was soaked! Do you know how hard it is to change into your mom's Jean shorts when you're skin is wet and you're starting to get too chubby for your moms clothes??? NOT A FUN experience at all! From that day forward, I HATED the beach!!! I was mortified and NEVER wanted to feel like that ever again! I only went on maybe 2 handful trips to the beach after that. When I was 17/18 I went again and I had fun with friends, but I also was thinner and a little more confident! Today... nope! I feel anxiety if someone mentions going to the beach. And where does my daughter live???? Virginia Beach! What does she love??? The beach!!!